“Oh no! She left Twitter and she made a Substack instead!” said none of my friends because I have been blessed to love and be loved by people who appreciate me. This of course emboldens me in my journey to understand life and share what I find out (in a somewhat creative manner).
I was on a hiatus this month from all social media (IG, Facebook, Twitter and TikTok in my case) and the most significant thing I realized was that… I survived! Turns out that the life I would constantly tap out of to plug into an endless source of mindless content consumption still existed and I only needed some concentrated cultivation before getting it back up to full speed.
I missed some people. It happens. The parasocial relationships we form with the people we follow ultimately affect us. I missed the beautiful and poetic tweets, tidbits, stories, and jokes. I missed having the option to consistently see the world through other people’s eyes. But fortunately, none of my big looming fears about loneliness and lethargy came true. I still talked to my friends. In fact, I talked to more friends in more meaningful ways. I made conscious efforts to reach out to people I had neglected. I actually had things to do in my day, even in those liminal moments between planned activities, where social media had fit ever so snugly in the time before.
In the past year, my fear of becoming a boring and uninteresting person had reached a new high. I constantly felt like I had been cool at some point in college, and now I was fading out of my own life. My hobbies were dull and nothing I did brought me or others sufficient joy to justify keeping me around. However, in the last month, I realized how full my life is and how unfounded my fears were. Which… is a pretty great thing to realize!
One of my worries in leaving social media was being unable to share the things I read, listened to, watched, found interesting, or disagreed with, as soon as I consumed them. That is how this substack came to be. I have been editing this since the 1st of January, adding things that I loved engaging with in one way or another.
I felt my days and my weeks and this whole month turn into an abundance of time. I read 8 books, reconnected with old friends, sent postcards, joined a book discussion, got my learner’s permit, learned to drive, had a tarot reading, led and won a game of Code Names at work, and folded birthday origami. I spent a lot of quality time with my brother, made ratatouille, joined my philosophy and arts group every Wednesday, and started journaling again. I watched a TON of movies, I ran a lot, and I even made a sitting snowman.
The thing is, having time stretch out before my eyes made it so that I don’t berate myself when I am falling behind on my goals. I have time! We all do. I sat down this month and wrote the things I value in life. I wrote down what’s important to me and what kind of person I want to be. I have it in my journal, and I try to read it in the mornings as a way to remind myself that I am trying to build and live a life that I love.
I am not saying all this is because I wasn’t on social media. At the end of 2020, I was looking for a believable scapegoat for the lack of action and activity in my life and social media was a great candidate for that. Now I realize, it all starts and ends with me. My friend Becca said that some things definitely require a greater activation energy (e.g. reading) and social media usually requires none, so it’s definitely a part of the problem, just not the whole picture.
In any case, thank you for being a part of my life. I hope you find something interesting in the links below!
January 2021 from the belly of the fish:
Poetry ✨
Go to the Limits of Your Longing by Rainer Maria Rilke
The Guest House by Rumi (The Coleman Banks translations are not my go-to, and there are more accurate translations here.)
I’m Nobody! Who are you? by Emily Dickinson
Movies & Videos 🎞
Klaus by SPA Animation Studios & Netflix
My Name is Anik by Bircan Birol
Chapter Qari’ah –Part 1 on how to read and understand the Quran or any other self-ascribed sacred literature.
Books 📚
How to be Single and Happy by Jennifer Taitz
Women and Gender in the Quran by Celene Ibrahim
The Lesser Bohemians by Eimear McBride
Articles & Blogs 📝
#37: Community, mob, fandom, or cult? by Haley Nahman on the meaning of community and how social media doesn’t allow creating it.
Cold Pastoral by Marina Keegan
The Devil’s Advocate’s Advocate by Agnes Callard — this is an article I re-visit often because it reminds me of the importance of methodology.
Against Knowing by Dinah Lenney
Poison Apples by Rebeccal Solnit — A serendipitous find for this month, where I am trying to engage with technology and social media less.
Visual & Culinary Arts 🎭
Ratatouille from Tasty
The Treachery of Images by Rene Magritte
Thanks for reading pals and gals! See you next month!