7/21 in the belly of the fish
30 books in 7 months, the super human strength of olympians, alpha level ice skating, and thoughts on poverty roleplay
Happy August friends!
Let me first share with you some of the videos I have watched this past month that have left me in complete awe. I can’t embed all of them because NBC doesn’t allow it, but I would definitely urge you to look into Simone Biles’s mat and vault videos as well as Yulimar Rojas’s jump and celebration after breaking the world record during the Tokyo olympics. Truly peak human performance, I love them so much.
Articles 📑
Breaking Points by Agnes Callard — On the psychological violence of one-sided break-ups (romantic or otherwise). I sent this article to everyone after I read it because it really spoke to me and finally put words to something I have felt and struggled to communicate for a long time. At the conception of a friendship or a relationship, a new you comes into being. A new branch of the timeline of your life. It is impossible to take back time and sever off the branch altogether, and trying to do so often causes immense hurt to everyone involved. As Agnes writes:
The extremes of total bondage and total freedom strike me as being on the wrong scale for human relationships. They are appropriate for creatures much larger or smaller than us. We humans need to do our living, and our moralizing, in the middle. Often a relationship that doesn’t work in one form might work in another form, a renegotiated one. And even if no livable arrangement can be arrived at, such an ending should be the product of the reasoning of all parties involved.
Men at Work by Dave Atenasio — This is a pretty good analysis of what exactly is feeding the state surveillance and security apparatus and why. I don’t usually care much for xy issues, but we have to have holistic approaches to systemic issues imposed on us by capitalism and modernity. People lack meaning, there are cultural stigmas and expectations around certain areas of work (i.e. care work vs. manual labor), and having a significant amount of the population resentfully joining the police and security forces just doesn’t sound like a good recipe for social order or harmony…
Other People’s Despair by Erik Baker — A long and thorough analysis of the “deaths of despair” theory which argues suicide rates are mostly increasing among the white working class and it’s because of the loss of traditional meaning-making institutions e.g. marriage and religion. Baker pokes all the necessary holes on this theory and approaches the suicide epidemic from a more grounded and material perspective.
Bot Anxiety by Kent Anhari — Made me wonder what exactly is the crucial difference between bingo cards for personalities and the age-old, sagely nod of an old person who makes claims about life’s big questions. Since the time of Plato, we have been asking “what does it mean to live well?” Is it that humanity bingo is more benign that leftist fuckboy bingo? Why does the former put us in a state of awe about the continuity of human concerns while the latter infuriates and scares us in living a sort of algorithmic dystopia?
It’s All Over by Justin E. H. Smith— This is a great article that is briefly mentioned in Bot Anxiety above. Smith analyzes how we have started to see ourselves not as subjects but parts of structures, integrated into monetized algorithms. This in turn affects how we view violence, humanity, politics, discourse, everything.
Sex Is (Not) For England by Mary Townsend — A thoughtful and funny piece on the nature of desire, sex, and policing sex. Featuring one of my favorite phrases I read this month: “Consider the case of Socrates, sometime Athenian and father of two.“
Oh, Mercy by Moira Donegan — Honestly, the article I have been waiting for. In the form of a double book review, this piece talks about female anger in the public sphere, carceral feminism, and the leniency we are expected to grant rapists and pedophiles in order to pledge our allegiance to being leftists. I am far from being an expert on prison and police abolition but I am deeply unsettled by the online discourse I see in response to women’s worries about sex offenders. If thinking serial rapists do not deserve restorative justice circles makes me a carceral feminist… then so be it. I am not convinced that retribution simpliciter is immoral. I want retribution. I will fight for it too.
“Cat Person” and Me by Alex Nowicki — Quite the controversial drop on the morning of July 8th… This article shook Twitter to its core because it ignited about 20 different streams of discourse simultaneously. People were upset that they had to remember the notorious Cat Person story. They were upset at seeing lip pictures again. They were annoyed with Nowicki. They were sympathetic to her. They had every imaginable opinion on writing fiction based on real life events and agents. And not enough people were talking about how the titular cat person had actually died. He is no longer alive, notoriety notwithstanding… I think Nowicki was extremely gracious in her piece. Way more gracious that I imagine myself to be if I were in her shoes. This piece by Rachel Connolly is a good reaction too.
Add Your Own Egg by Nakul Krishna — Ahhh this is so good! My favorite part was the the description of the philosophers who say they have everything they read on JSTOR with no other books in sight… But also very poignant. Really grappling with what it means to do philosophy, and how to reconcile the academic realities with the deeper, moral needs we have.
My Deep, Burning Class Rage — This is such a raw and relatable piece with something that rang true on each line. The author, who has chosen to stay anonymous, talks about the rage she feels when she finds out that people around her are much wealthier than they let on. She recounts how she realized that so starkly in college when she met people whose parents were paying their rent, peers who did not have to find jobs to get by, who could simply ask their parents for money when they needed. And she mentions how it’s the same now that she’s 40, and working in publishing, and still unable to participate in social life as she would like to simply because she doesn’t have the money to eat out or drink frivolously.
Maybe I’ll write more about this elsewhere but I think there is something to be said about feeling “embarrassed” by money and wealth. Especially in liberal and left-leaning circles. People are so eager to role play as poor, but it becomes obvious they are not, sooner or later. Take this tweet for example— it’s the first of a long thread where this user comes to the terms with the terrible realization that his parents are wealthy and will send him obscene amounts of money whenever he needs. Simply horrifying, right? Anyway, it’s a mess and garnered no sympathy except from other rich kids who might ask themselves “oh my god am i a spoiled rich kid??? am i a trust fund baby kind of??? that's even worse jesus” (x).
I also think this is the same mindset that pushes people to falsely claim they are Indigenous, Black, Latino, queer, disabled, etc. Being wealthy, white, straight etc. is not only boring, but downright embarrassing at this point. I guess this is then, an expected result that people distance themselves from such identifiers at whatever the cost…
Substacks 🗞
Things I Read by Freddie deBoer — I thought this was a brilliant selection of work presented in a unique way. Obviously, a lot of people compile lists of books, articles, movies etc. (I guess myself included), but I loved the formal and the informal choices on Freddie’s list and the commentary for each. Especially The Fountainhead! I wish more of my friends did stuff like this, I’d love to see what media had a valuable effect on them.
The Master’s Trap by Anne Helen Petersen — on how MA programs can be incredibly predatory for aspiring academics.
In Praise of Gods by Simon Sarris — on rationality and why we keep chasing it so desperately
#64: Learning to Lose by Haley Nahman — on grief and the perception of time
The internet is flat. by Charlie Warzel — on the parasocial relationships we have with influencers, the lack of nuance on online discourse, and how we can exist on a one-dimensional space when we are multidimensional beings
Books 📚
The Maytrees by Annie Dillard — Annie Dillard is a genius. Not much else to say. I love her prose. The calm meditation on love, friendship, marriage, materialism… This was such a beautiful book and the narration by David Rasche was perfectly fitted. The style felt a little reminiscent of Joan Didion (although I haven’t read Didon’s fiction yet). But both writers seem to me, to be thoughtful consumers of art and philosophy in a way they can digest and synthesize into a story or a memoir in such a skillful way.
To Kill a Mockingbird by Harper Lee — I know I am late to the game and I should have read this in high school but they never assigned it and I only just now got around to it. Better late than never. It’s brilliant and it’s moving and Americans are right to mark it as one of their Great Novels.
Lab Girl by Hope Jahren — Truly one of the most beautiful books I have read both in terms of science and in terms of friendship. I am currently writing a letter to Dr. Jahren, I hope she replies.
Love the Fig by Ben Cair — Read this article after finishing Lab Girl. It’s an old one but I regularly visit it because despite my fear of insects, I absolutely lose my mind over this special wasp and fig relationship and how intricately they have been created.
The Story of More by Hope Jahren — Jahren again! This time, on climate change. I am already brainstorming all the ways I can help the environment, to make her proud, if for nothing else.
Movies & Shows 🎞
Four Lions (dir. Chris Morris, 2010) — A movie I stumbled on in the weirdest possible way. About a bunch of Muslim men who are trying to become suicide bombers. It’s categorized as satire and dark comedy and I’ll grant that it’s definitely hilarious, while also being sort of tragic. It’s available for free on YouTube so give it a watch if you’re curious.
Inside (dir. Bo Burnham, 2021) — I actually watched this last month a few days after it came out, I am surprised I let it slip through the cracks. It was really good! Most of Burnham’s songs are getting a second revival via TikTok and Instagram Reels as they lend themselves to memery super well, but in all seriousness, or as much seriousness as one can muster about a musical comedy about depression and the pandemic… it was very entertaining and I would definitely recommend.
Dirty John, S2 (pc. Alexandra Cunningham, 2021) — This is a true crime anthology show, and I have only seen the second season, which is about the life of Betty Broderick. It is very well-done and I would recommend it to anyone who feels like they are softening up on men. 🔪 😈
Life Updates ☀️
🎧 As of July 31st, I have read 30 books in 2021. I feel so accomplished and proud of myself because for a while through college and grad school, I was mostly reading for school and not much for myself. I am back in the groove of things now and I feel so blessed. I am becoming highly addicted to audiobooks and so a big shoutout to Libby for being my enabler. I also recently got NYC and Chicago online library cards and I can safely say… I am living large 😎
⛸ I passed the pre-alpha level for my skating class and will start the next level in September, if not earlier. Depending on demand apparently… The most impressive things I can do currently are one-foot glides. Maybe I’ll post a video soon! ⛸
🏡 I am moving in two weeks and I have decided that I will make a satire video of my new room in the style of these New York house tours of elite cultural celebrities.